Friday the 30^th of April

2 Car loads of us set off from Belfast. Patrick driving myself and Chris, and Mark driving Joan and Rory from their house.  It was too be a long weekend so the cars were loaded up with copious amounts of gear.  So with the wheel arches riding low we set off for our 1^st major checkpoint,  the Sainsburys in Omagh.  Emma being picked up along the way from somewhere near Dungannon.

 

Once at Sainsburies we filled the cars yet further with the all important alcohol and the weekends supply of noodles and burgers.  And after a quick stop at Mcdonalds and a moment or two to figure out navigation we began the next stage of our journey.

 

Armed with a slightly out of date map and Chris’ somewhat questionable navigation skills coupled with Patricks somewhat questionable ability to read the kind of “blind crest and sudden unexpected hairpin bend” type of road that most southern drivers have naturally bred into them since birth.  That being said apart from a few sump nudges and slightly wide line taken on a particularly tight bend we made it to Cruit island and recognised the campsite from the headtorches already bobbing around the campsite.  It is worth noting that I did not help the navigation by sleeping most of the journey only to awaken and announce wrongly that we were in letterkenny when we were actually miles away in Bunbeg.

 

We arrived in and set up our tents.  Mark & co arrived soon after us and we made ourselves comfortable before wandering down to the beach where a campfire and drunken people proceded us.  We had a few drinks and watched as the crazy local beach flea crustations lept and crawled to their own death in the fire.  In their hundreds the lil buggers confused and dazzled by the light of the fire left a small pile of charred corpses around the perimeter of the fire.  While we drank and tucked our trousers into our socks.  Eventually heading to bed in the wee hours.

 

Saturday morning and up we all got. 

Patrick and Chris escaping early to beat the crowds to the Farmhouse crag.  While the rest us us finished up our bacon breakfast.

We abed down to this as the climb down to the wall was a bit steep.  Once here I lead a nice wee route with sparce protection near the top call the “scholar” (Severe) with Emma on Belay.  Meanwhile to my left Joan Lead a Vdiff of which the name escapes me.  Once we completed these.  Emma decided to lead up the same route Joan had completed with Joan on the belay.  Meanwhile myself Rory and Mark moved further right (towards the sea) to give “Grease Lighntening” a VS a go.

 

With Mark on the lead mark lead the beginning of the climb without too much difficulty until he reached a platform about  three quarter of the way up the climb.  Here with a overhanging piece of rock and a narrow chimney type section to its right Mark’s quick progress was halted.  However not too long after Mark managed to ascend through the obviously difficult section using his head as a vital hold on one side of the chimney section.  With Mark now up he set up an anchor and I tied off a bite in the rope to allow Rory to ascend.  Rory did very well considering he had not been climbing that long an although slowing some on the chimney section at the end he completed the climb well.  I then followed, taking some of the pieces of gear which Rory had left in the difficult sections of the climb.  Again I found the chimney section at the top a bit more difficult but completed none the less after some faffing around on the section and with a lump of dirt/pebble that I managed to get in my eye.  After reading back on the guidebook later we found out that Mark had strayed onto an E2.

 

At the top we soon found that our excellent little crag which we had had all to ourselves earlier began to get a bit more crowded.  Migrating Climbers who told of the far side of the island now getting cold windy and also now being in the shade had made their way over from farmhouse crag to Trathnona wall in search of heat and routes.  So we decided to again change our location. 

 

Despite the rumours of unfavourable climate Mark Rory and myself made our way a short distance across the island to Framhouse crag.  Here we met Patrick and Chris just leaving.  They advised us on a few routes and headed off back the campsite to get the car and go to the shop for water and supplies.  Emma and Joan had also decided to head back the campsite and grab their wetsuits and go for a swim.

 

We completed just one route here where I lead Wee Bunnies (Diff) and again with the help of Mark set up an anchor to which Rory seconded.  Once this was done we headed back to the campsite. 

We met Patrick and Chris soon afterwards.  They had returned from the shop with amazing tales of a breath taking beauty they had come across in a small shop.  She had given them water and the lads dutifully christened the unknown siren “Niamh”.

 

A very cold and sandy pair in the form of Emma and Joan arrived back soon afterward too.  We made dinner but due to a bad head ache I took an early night and refused to be wakened by the calls of the guys telling me they were going down to the campfire on the beach.    Although I wasn’t there, I heard news that there had been an impressive fire sculpture and a small amount of fireworks at the campfire that night.  And everyone seemed to enjoy the nights activities.  I also later learned that during my sleepiness Patrick and Chris had made their way over to a few bouldering spots nearby where they created about 7 new routes.  They both seemed eager to return here and record them.

 

Sunday.

I awoke fully refreshed while the others seemed a tad groggy.  We ate breakfast and all wished Mark a happy birthday.  We promised him a good night of merriment once the days climbing was complete.  We decided to head to far west buttress.  There was a ferry organised to Gola as the weather was too windy for the Owey ferry to make the crossing over as was originally planned.  We decided against it as there would be a trip to Gola with the club later in the summer and with most of us having been there before.  Also a lot was to be said about the abundant climbing to be had on Cruit with the benefit of a smaller crowd as most had gone to Gola.  Patrick and Chris lead the way to Far West Buttress. (The wrong way as far as everyone else was concerned) and indeed it was the wrong way however on our journey out to the crag we found a hidden cove of beach, rock and soft sand.  Here upon sighting it we decided to explore more.

 

It turned out to be a really picturesque place.  We made some excellent bouldering problems and paddled in the rock pools.  We concentrated mainly on 2 bouldering areas which were clean difficult and in some places a bit high.  However the soft sand below made up for the lack of bouldering mat.  We further explored the cove and found a bit of higher climbing once the tide had retreated a little.  Here at which Chris had already Soloed a section.  Mark Joan Emma and Rory all did a Spot of climbing while I went off to show Paddy 2 more wall sections I had found further around the cove.  One of which was hugely impressive however looked a bit difficult for our level of climbing.  So we decided to stick to the smaller wall closer to the rest of the guys.  Here Patrick and Myself both completed easy leads and we were later joined by the rest of the guys who came over to watch.  Emma also completed a lead here.  Although she was hampered by me setting up a belay beside her and also through me managing to tangle her rope with mine in the process. 

 

We eventually decided to head back to the campsite.  Myself Patrick and Chris leaving a short while after the rest of the guys to sort gear and take photos of the routes.  After some unsure navigating back to the campsite via different route we got back and found that the others had not yet returned.  When they did arrive later we found that they had found another bouldering spot and it had proved too tempting to pass up.  Further more proof that Cruit Island has so much to offer the climbing scene.  Some of us loaded into Patrick’s car with the promise of seeing the fabled Niamh at the shop however we were all disappointed when we found she was not working.  However we had another mission.  To find beer and cake to celebrate Mark’s birthday.  This proved difficult as there were no cash machines, places that offered cashback and even fewer places to get these things.  However with the help of some friendly locals we eventually made it back with beer and cake after visiting 3 shops a chippy and the same off licence twice.

 

Once back we made dinner and Chris and Paddy ate 3 day old stew for the 3^rd day running.  They assured me it was fantastic.  We then set about the Birthday celebrations.  Mark being presented with a 3 kilo Gummie bear that Joan had got him.  This went down very well with mark as he is renown for his love of sugary treats!  After lopping off a few of his limbs we all gathered in my big tent as it was getting cold and rainy.  Here we started a few drinkin games as well as presenting Mark with cake.  We played the drinkin game “fives” well into the night with myself proving to be very adapt at the game and Rory proving to be not so adapt.  However Rory savoured the dirty pint at the end of each game to the very last drop and is in part responsible for such a long night!  The festivities went long into the night.  Long after Mark had since retired to his tent in fact while myself, Patrick, Emma, Rory and Chris kept the party alive.

 

Monday

The next moring we woke up, feeling a little groggy but still in good cheer.  We decided to pack up the tents and gear first and then to set off with minimum gear to do a day of bouldering.  After a few neurofin we went back to the spots where Chris and Paddy had been climbing on Saturday night.  They let us all challenge on their newly created problems and we even created a few of our own.  Some of them proved quite difficult and one or two were a tad scary at the top.  However it was a brilliant end to our weekends climbing.  We eventually wrapped things up around four and headed for home.

 

We wedged all our rubbish into the car along with a little bit of  not so nice litter left behind by our neighbouring tent and head back to Belfast.  With only one u turn needed throughout the journey home and a quick stop in the porn garage for a subway.  We made it home around 8 o clock and sunburnt aching and tired we tottered off for an early night.

 

Another great weekend organised by the CCC club.  And another great Climbfest.  Bring on Climbfest 2011!

Bright and early (…really early) Friday morning we loaded up the bingo bus and hit the road to catch the 7am ferry to Stranrear, I had a bit of a shaky start because as usual I hit the town the night before and true to form I was a tiny bit hung-over the next morning, so as you can imagine my sea legs were in top form, thankfully the sailing was smooth and I managed to keep my breakfast down.

The bingo bus (Ryan’s) embraced it position as the leader of the convoy and we hit the road hard and fast, well actually not that fast because our buses were fitted with 60mph limiters grrrr! We force fed the bus an amazing amount of cd’s and the party started. Some several sing alongs and bounce the bus dance moves we landed in fortwilliam where we picked up the gear and also picked up two parking tickets, one for each bus! We did the shopping, bought up the supermarkets whole supply of mince and weetabix…….. and beer of course, and headed on to Kingussie, party central.

We finally landed at the tipsy laird hostel and launched operation ‘cook for an army’ and grabbed a drink to get the party started. So we encouraged the freshers into drinking plenty and lets face it I probably wasn’t to far behind but this year I knew I was going to have to run up the hill after Andy (the machine) Porter so I drank cautiously. We headed over to the bar for a bit of carry on and desserts yum yum, and then back to the hostel to catch some zeds.

7 am the big wake up call was launched and as always waking up to Anthony’s bellowing lungs did the trick. A bit of faffing about with gear, lunches and shovelling two weetabix into us, or four in Fiona forklifts case, we were out the door and back into the bingo bus and into the hills. It was a nervy drive as we approached the ski centre, there was practically no sign of snow and the temperature was a wee bit too far above zero for my liking but that didn’t stop us. We (the intermediate group) headed up to Jacobs Ladder and the fun began, when we were on the first pitch of the climb and the wind really starting to pick up. Having found my feet I was really starting to have fun. So Porter decides we would only need one axe for the climb, just in case it would be too easy for our first proper ice climb! By the second pitch we were getting sand blasted with shards of ice making it hard to even keep our eyes open, I couldn’t wait to top out just so we could get out of the wind in the gully. So we got to the top but the wind was even worse, we had to keep low just so we didn’t get blown over and had to down climb Jacobs’s Ladder because the wind was to bad to do the usual walk out. So it was a race down the hill to try and catch the rugby Ireland vs. Scotland. We made it back, and were greeted by the fresher group all washed and already in the pub after their hard day of sliding down the first patch of snow they found unlike the intermediate group, we had been beasted, but we loved it! Something the intermediate group didn’t get to enjoy was hot showers, thanks freshers!
The party started again, drinks were flowing and there was a table which was screaming out for abuse so the table wrestling commenced, encouraging good healthy competition within the club. The next day it was another early start and into the hills, I had a short spell in the hills as I had to take a quick race back to the ski centre because I was not feeling so hot, I may have forgotten to drink cautiously last night, woops. After a long day on the bus the boys came back and we were off back to the hostel.
The next day was a play day so we could twist ourselves into whatever shapes we wanted that night, and we did. The games began first we started with some innocent card games and then we broke out the drinking games, good times, this led to a few more games and a whole lot of dancing. So we danced our little hearts out with Miley featuring quite strongly all weekend.
So the next morning we headed to the ice factor for a bit of indoor climbing because conditions were not so hot. Oh and we paid our parking tickets…… in pennies!!!
It was home and a race to the chippie (since the Chinese wasn’t open much to Mc Curdy’s dismay) to sample some fine Scottish delicacies deep fried mars bars, haggis and even crème eggs eeewwwwwww!
So our last night was pretty mild since we couldn’t find a bar that was open.
The next morning we had an early shift for the race back to the boat…. Happy St Patricks Day….. We were wasting some time in stranrear and the random shop competition began, we produced some quality products but my sausage thing won success! Yay!
We landed home and the convoy broke up as the Jordanstown crew headed off. The bingo bus was home and only slightly damaged.

A great time had by all!

Was a great days climbing at the fairest of all the heads yesterday, with the weather so good we didnt need to head there ridiculously early to catch the 20minutes of sun in a normal climbing day.

 

Steven McArdle, Sharon and myself left Belfast at 1.30 meeting Christine, Colm and Ryan at Junction 1, stopping for supplies and toilets in Ballycastle.  We were at the car park at 3.30 and down at the base of the crag about 4.

 

After a quick flick through the guide book we paired of and started a few climbs.  With this being my first venture to Fairhead the cliffs are impressive, vertical and very daunting.  Crack climbing has never appealed to me, but if needs be I’ll give it a go.  Ryan climbed the first pitch of Good Morning Judge (HVS 5a, 4a), with Sharon getting back into climbing and lead the top section.  Colm climbed The Fence, a 24m continuous climb with Christine, while I led Brambles (20m Severe) with Steven belaying me.  It’s a nice route with one or two delicate steps, lots of jams and some sharp pinches (but maybe that’s just my soft hands), following the guide book warning I treated the top block with caution and exited up the chimney on the right.  Heading through the brambles to set up my belay I can see how the route got its name.  Steve was soon up on top and we headed back down the descent gully for a spot of late lunch.  Sausage baps kept me going with a complement of jelly beans.

 

Steve being a true gentle man insisted that I lead another route as it’s only his third time climbing outdoors and it wouldn’t be fair making him climb something (damn, more work for me).  I headed of in search of Los Molinos (HS 4a) the climb described in the guide as “Start where the tree grows out of the base of a crack. Climb the crack”.  Finding the route was easy but climbing the crack was the difficult bit, after surmounting the (dead) tree, without putting any weight on it, I was arms deep in grass and mud with nowhere for my feet except the dead tree.  Looking up I saw grass the whole way up and decided not to continue, back down to ground level and we moved base over right a couple of routes to Dríodar na hAille (20m HS).  Colm was on Bramble the route next to it that I had climbed earlier and he was nearing the top when I started my climb.  A nice route with a semi-decent ledge in the middle for a wee rest, and a wide crack at the end to use up all my big pieces of gear (including a couple of big hexes and both the size 3&4 camalots).  A belay position with legs dangling over the route gave me an excellent view over to Rathlin Island and allowed me to bask in the evening sun while Steven took out the gear.  Ryan was finishing up The Black Thief *** (VS 4b) but unfortunately lost a stuck cam about ¾ height.  All that was left for the day was the descent down to collect our gear and to eat a few more sweets.  Back to the car throwing a few coins in the honesty box in the car park (thanks to my passengers for contributing, my wallet was dry of coinage).

 

Heading back into Ballycastle for chips and something cold (no not a pint, ice lollies), Sharon getting totally confused by the lady in the chip shop thus her and I didn’t get chips and we probably cant go back there. Thanks Sharon.

 

Back to Belfast with a bit more colour on my already sunburnt arms, a great introduction to Fairhead and I’ll certainly be back soon.

 

Mark

Scotland 2008 (25-29 March)

 

Tuesday 25^th

 

It all started very early on Tuesday morning (5.45AM) with the Belfast based people meeting on India Street and the Jordanstown people meeting out there. When we finally got moving the Stenaline HSS was our next port of call. A very unremarkable crossing ensued and the only causality was nearly Dangerous Dave with his mighty sea legs, whoever said paddlers felt more at home in the water than on land obviously has never met Dangerous Dave! The trip from Stranrear to Avimore was fraught with danger more due to the fact that Mark had one of his off days in the driving seat due to the inexplicitly hard clutch and that damn power steering pump! We arrived in Avimore about 5-5.30 just in time to get our gear hired from Nevis sports. The accommodation was located about 10 miles from Avimore in a little village called Nethy Bridge and to say it was to everybody’s tastes was an understatement. The night ended up with a few sociable drinks and off to bed early, Wednesday was going to be a long day.

 

Wednesday 26^th

 

As we woke early on Wednesday morning the effects of travelling the day before were beginning to show. During breakfast our intermediate guide Andy “The Machine/Roboguide” Porter arrived looking full of the joys of spring and the intermediate group that would be trying to follow him did not have the same bounce in our step at that time of the morning anyway. After all the gear got sorted out and rucksacks packed it was off the Cairngorms for our first real attempt at ice climbing due to the very difficult conditions experienced last year on Ben Nevis. The walk in was challenging to say the least with knee deep snow, full rucksacks, rigid boots and following in the footsteps of Andy Porter. When we reached the bottom of the climb we had time for a quick snack Andy porter style, which consists of a piece of fruitcake washed down with a chocolate biscuit. The route chosen by Andy was Jacobs ladder (Grade I) so when we got tooled up Andy led the way in his usual style. The route was challenging as it was only my second time ever on ice and my first outdoor but with Andy’s guidance we soon were at the summit. On the descent we stopped for Andy to show us how to check the snow for avalanches and the how the snow is packed in layers. Another tip Andy taught us is how to bury an ice axe and use it as an emergency belay, with Me, Anthony, Andy and Big Andy pulling on it didn’t budge it so no hesitation in using it in an emergency then! We met Colm, Christine & Doug on the way down, Colm was sick on the mountain so decided to call it a day while leaving Andy G and Mark on their epic climb. I don’t think we were ever as glad to see the car park in our lives. Roboguide Andy was just getting warmed up! As per tradition the evening ended with a bit of grub and a small beverage to wash the meal down. Some of the members washed the meal down a little too well and were out on sleep police patrol in the early hours, lord knows what else you would be doing!

Thursday 27^th

 

Thursday was another chance to use our skills that we had been shown on Wednesday on a harder grade climb (Grade II) The Runnel. As the talk the night before centred on this route, a few groups had decided on attempting this particular route. The intermediate group reached the base of the climb first so we had first dibs on it. So off we went with our guide Andy leading, we all followed as best we could. About halfway up the route we could hear a jet fighter in the distance and then out of nowhere the jet fighter flew up the gully and over the mountain that we were on. The noise and the visual impact that they created is something than can only be seen to be believed. Our guide was not impressed though as they tend to create an avalanche risk flying that low to the ground. So the last pitch of the runnel was up through a steep narrow gully with hard compacted ice on one side and powdery loose snow on the other. The change in conditions in such a small enclosed space was really testing to our novice skills and they were really put to the test. When we reached the summit celebratory photographs were taking to show family and friends we actually do climb and not just drink and talk about it. Andy gave us two options for our descent and we choose the descent to the right of the climb, over a ridge and down the other side of the gully. When we got to the top of the ridge the views were spectacular and Andy compared them to days he had spent in the Alps due to the incredible weather and snow conditions. The ridge gave us a chance to learn other skills that included being roped together during a transverse of a narrow ridge and down climbing safely. On the edge of the ridge we joined the trail back to the car park and home for a well deserved shower and beverage. Thursday night was a carbon copy of Wednesday night with some consuming enough trade winds to get a ship round the world and the big losers of this was the stench of the rooms in the morning.

 

Friday 28^th

 

Friday was a free day to do as we pleased and as most of us consumed quite a lot on Thursday night a whiskey brewery trip or a play in the snow was organised. The play in the snow was great fun as most of us decided that climbing was not really painful enough so a great deal of dangerous sledging happened with many painful occurrences. Fla tried to convince everybody that she broke her bum but we all knew she just wanted some sympathy and there was no chance of that! When we had injured ourselves enough for the day we decided to build a house of snow. The first foot of wall was great then we got bored cause the house would have taken days to build as we set the foundations out too big to make a roof actually work! Was lots of fun knocking it down and the animal that is Mark 2 found out how hard it can be to knock down a wall of snow by running head first into the wall and not even budging it! Aviemore was hit for chips after the play in the snow thanks to Helen and some of us tried the local haggis, to say that we actually tried it more than anything else. Friday evening was a great wind down as everybody had a great time and wanted to show our gratitude to everybody involved in the organising of the week. A few dodgy moves were attempted during the box game and Dougs trousers bore the brunt of a few to many pies and not enough stretching. A few hardcore nuts (Fla, Joan and Anthony) didn’t even see the bed that night cause by the time they were finished drinking it was time to get up and go!

 

Saturday 29^th

 

The morning started with Fla ringing the morning bell to gently waken everybody NOT. When we got the place sorted and the bus packed everybody was ready for home. The HSS was a little choppy and Dangerous Dave was up to his old tricks again but when we touched down in Belfast everything was forgotten and we all wished we were back in Aviemore again just for the snow. But then again next year is not far away and hopefully we can have another few recruits to show the ropes to.

Back from the MCI Student Club Symposium this weekend with lots of things to report on and think about.

 

Angela Carlin organised a great weekend with university clubs from all over Ireland (including the walking club from the Magee campus) sending people down to Tollymore for a wide variety of workshops and lectures.

 

Learnt lots about good practice, personal and group climbing from the large number of instructors Angela had coerced into helping out.  For pretty much the whole weekend it was one guide to two club members, talk about great service.

 

On Saturday it kicked of with a short lecture on emergency first aid and a workshop on survival, avoiding hypothermia, and casualty (stretcher) carrying.

 

Then we were split into our groups for the different main sessions of the day.  Andrew G and I were doing a problem solving climbing session with Tim Orr (MCI Training Officer), Angela Carlin (MCI Youth Development Officer) and Ronnie Smith (Tollymore Instructor).  Joan was doing a session on emergency rope work for hill walkers and Claire was doing indoor and single pitch outdoor climbing.

 

Heading out to Altnadue Quarry we worked for a couple of hours on a number of scenarios.  The instructors were making us think of different ways to do things, getting us to try out our own ideas to see if they worked, and then showing us loads of different ways of doing things.  The earlier lessons on hypothermia were relevant with rain, sleet and a little snow soaking us as we practiced our stuff.  We headed back to the centre to get out of the rain and cold and continued the learning.  Me and two of the DCU (I think) guys were with Tim and the couple of tea he promised convinced us to stick to the indoor lesson.  Andy being the crazy fool went back outside with Ronnie and Angela. The rain got heavier

 

After the other groups returned from the hills and the climbing wall, we had a couple of sessions including a thought provoking Leave no Trace workshop by Vincent McAlinden, we might be getting him come up to Belfast soon to do something similar in the near future.  Ronnie Smith had a detailed talk on gear maintainence etc and loads of questions were asked and answered.

 

Dinner at Tollymore is always something that you look forward to, half a chicken and some tasty spuds certainly revive you from the activities of before.  The choice of a huge Pavalova, Apple Crumble or chocolate cake is a difficult one when they all look so good.  I went for the chocolate cake and it didn’t disappoint

 

Saturday must have been a busy day for Ricky Bell, after hosting a screening for the official launch of his DVD Underdeveloped earlier in the day, he was down at Tollymore to give a slideshow and talk about his recent goings on.  He presented a comical lecture on "how to climb big wall" routes in America, before getting to America the story takes in parts of France, Australia, Ireland and England.  His mate Rowan announced that he would like to climb "The nose" on El Cap in a day; 32 pitches and around  1KM high, they had a lot to learn etc.  Along with the slides he showed a number of films he made along the way including one about a psycadelic squirrel.  After a Q&A session he was back of to Belfast to join the party that he had left earlier.

 

We made our own entertainment for the next 6 hours or so with a trip to Newcastle and back to the centre for card games, the cardboard box game and a slightly drunken table wrestling game that only three of us seemed to be doing.

 

Sunday morning was a great start at Tollymore with a great breakfast starting the day of well.  Tim Orr gave a brief talk and took questions on access to training through the MCI, and then we were back out on the hills in slightly different groups than before.  The guides that were with our group of six where Dawson Stelfox, Sinead ? and Vincent McAlinden.  Andrew and I had a great day on Spellack with Vince, we started practicing scrambling techniques and moving while roped together.  We then went on to Multi-pitch type stuff with effective use of the belay stance, climbing in a group of three etc.  Climbing short but hard (VS) pitches in hiking boots on wet rock with a heavy rucksack on your back is not easy especially with sore arms from table wrestling.

 

We practised the scrambling techniques while climbing the gully up the centre of spellack between the two big walls.  We then went on to multipitch abseiling techniques and learned a couple of new ways of operating it.  along the way Vince was making us aware of the environmental impacts that are all to obvious in the hills and showing us ways to reduce our impact, a collapsed part of the gully at White Walls and Spellack Chimney, shows the destruction human feet do.  We even learnt a little crag maintainence along the way when looking at backing up our belay anchor.

 

Back to the centre about 3.30 only one more lecture to go, the legal implications on climbing clubs etc was presented by Ali Wilson (Climber and Solicitor).  Lots of questions asked and answered including a number of questions on risk assessments which we deal with for every trip.

 

I have to say this weekend, organised by Angela, was so helpful to all of us and sitting in work writing this I am still thinking about a few things which I want to get out and practice.  It wouldn’t have been possible but for the instructors who volunteered their time to help all the student clubs make things easier for themselves, and the great facilities at Tollymore.  I’m almost certain that this will be run for years to come to help all the student clubs throughout Ireland and i am sure Jordanstown members will be there next year.

All hands on deck for the annual UUJMC Scotland Trip with 22 people meeting on the 2 buses departing from Belfast and J’town at 6am with Paul Cummins to fly over on the Friday.  All seemed to be going to plan with all but one of the victims of Ryan’s driving being there at 6.  Andy G appeared shortly after having just woken up at 6.05.  Off to the Stena terminal where we met up with the Jordanstown bus for a pretty calm crossing.  There were a few games of cards played with Fla gaining the title shithead, and Anthony amusing us all with mad shouts of BAM BAM!  There was a good sense of anticipation for the trip to come and many freshers trying to get some beta on what to expect; but what could I say this was my first Scotland trip with the club as well.

 With Ryan driving our bus and Andy G driving the other we set of on the open highway.  First stop was a petrol station to buy a road map to guide us the rest of the way (just in case the alcohol of previous years had wiped the drivers’ memories), sandwiches and chocolate covered raisins were my snack of the morning.  Yummy.

Morrisons in Paisley was the next stop for the food for the trip.  With the main meals all provided by the club snacks and drinks were the only thing we needed to buy so I stocked up on Jelly, Brioche, Orange juice and drinkies among other things.  Can you tell that I have a sugar addiction yet?  No! We’ll get to that later then.

Back on the road we headed onwards via Glasgow and Loch Lomond to our final destination of Glencoe Bunkhouse.  The beautiful sunshine began to look worrying as there wasn’t a huge amount of the white stuff to be seen.  I’d seen the pictures from previous years and it all seemed so homely with the bunks having been constructed using some impressive carpentry.  Everyone piled in and unloaded their gear onto the bunks.  We headed out to the gear hire shop to pick up those bits and pieces that we might need for the days ahead.  Dinner then a trip to the pub to sample a few ale’s (Roisin available on tap just sounds dangerous to me) followed by a few ciders.

Tradition is a powerful vice so a few games must be played; some hands were slapped and celebrities name’s connected with some verbal glue.  Captain Crooks was started but people were more interested in the pubs resident dog (Anthony “It’s a Ghost Dog”).  Back to the bunk house for a bit more badness, human pyramids were constructed; Steve’s dancing amused the front row spectators.  At some stage Kate remembered that she didn’t have any anti-balling plates which might come in useful so she set about constructing a makeshift set, needless to say when people began to see this activity half the group realised they would need them as well, so a sweat shop like production table was set up.  It’s great to look on with the slightly distant expression that says “Aren’t I so lucky mine came pre-fitted” More drinks for me.

I’d read Kerrin’s trip report from a previous year so I new the bunk house could be cold first thing in the morning so I’d packed a sleeping bag liner to go with my 1 season sleeping bag.  Obviously I overlooked the fact that you might need a layer of clothes on as well.  Despite having the majority of our gear sorted the night before the usual manic early morning rush to get ready ensued.  Were are my sandwiches?; Is anyone wearing my lucky pants?; Do you think I’ll need my waterproof trousers?  (Have you looked outside!) You get the idea.  Madness

Andy Porter and the other two Guides Cliff and John soon arrived and we got our selves split into the three groups, Freshers going with Cliff and John, Intermediates (myself included) with Andy and the Experts (lol) going freelance.

Due to the severe weather conditions and lack of snow in most areas the west face of Ben Nevis was the mountain of choice.  The best thing about Andy Porter hiring local guides for the fresher group was the fact that John had a key to two of the gates along the forestry track so we avoided a 45 minute muddy uphill slog.  Once burdened with a rope or two our group quickly set of after the others, with Andy P setting a lightning fast pace we quickly passed the other groups and never looked back.  Did I mention it was pissing it down and the wind felt like it was sand blasting your face, Oh well the weather forecast said we could expect it feel like -20^oC, so it can’t feel any worse really.  Can it?

We marched on towards the hut up the valley which would be the staging point for what was to come.  Lots of snow melt meant the rivers were bursting with energy, one particular crossing just before the hut was quite deep and fast flowing and a few wet feet were experienced.  At the hut we tried to shelter from the wind.  Snacks consumed, gloves changed, noses blown.  James (avec le hat) was suffering from the walk so Bernard offered to go back down with him.  Did he know of what was to come?  15minutes later the other groups started to arrive and we soon set off.  At a height of 800m or so there was some snow lying in decent quantities.  About a half a mile onward (and upwards) we donned our crampons for our assent into the gully we were to tackle.  By now it was just the three of us in our group Doug, Scott and Myself being guided by Andy ‘The Machine’ Porter (He doesn’t eat, He doesn’t breathe, He’s a mystery – just like the Stig from Top Gear).  Andy was teaching us about moving safely, placing gear, snow belays, avalanche risks etc.  The route we were climbing on had recently avalanched so there was much to talk about and do.  Hours seemed to go by up on the slopes, digging bucket seats and belaying while sitting in them soon gets you cold especially when the hail and snow is hitting you directly in the face.  So after a while we moved back down the gully.  We didn’t want to be back at the bus too early so in a slightly more sheltered spot we built a snow bollard and had a tug of war game, us against the snow.  We won, eventually.  Ditching our crampons we set off on the walk down to the hut and onto the bus.  Making contact with Ryan on his mobile we found out that everyone else was off the hills, and away off in the buses – amateurs couldn’t stand the cold and wet.  The walkout took us a further hour with Doug setting the killer pace.  Thankfully a bus had returned for us when we got to the car park.

Back to the bunkhouse for a cold shower and warm clothes, hot food and cool drinks soon followed.  Doug had mentioned in passing one night while we were kayaking that he was planning to ditch his famous hairdo, so I volunteered to bring my hair clippers with me to Scotland and he agreed.  On the Friday night in the bunkhouse Anthony wanted to be the first to get the chop.  A fine mop of curls soon hit the floor.  Ryan was in control of the destruction (claiming to be an expert in hairdressing since his auntie is a hairdresser).  Various styles were inflicted on Anto including a fetching Sideshow Bob look.  Doug soon got into position and the damage began.  By request a ponytail was left which Fla soon had styled.  To the Pub!  More crazy talk and drinkies.  Everyone who was there will no doubt remember (mental scars never heal) the crowd of lads in the corner lighting glasses of whiskey and using the back draft to suction the glasses to a very drunk mates bare backside.  After he removed 6 or so he sat down again only to realise he wasn’t yet free from glasses.  A disturbing sight.  Back to the bunkhouse for some tabletop dancing (thanks to Steve and Anto), some table wrestling and many bruises.

The weather wasn’t looking good for another day out on the hills, especially with so many peoples gear still wet, so an executive decision was to head into the Ice Factor.  This option was made all the easier thanks to John the guide from the previous day who is the manager of the centre and offered good rates and free gear hire.  Geared up half the group went into the freezer to get some practice on the hard stuff.  As Cliff pointed out the easier routes to start on, everyone standing in front of Ryan and I lurched for them leaving us to start on a vertical wall.  Without a gentler warm-up it soon starts destroying the muscles in your arms and legs.  Cliff was giving very good instruction and moving onto an easier wall we practiced placing front points and axes more accurately.  At one point cliff pulled the Buff from around my neck.  For a moment we wondered what he needed that for.  Shortly thereafter Ryan was blindfolded and instructed to repeat a climb feeling with his gear before tapping in his points.  For my attempt I quickly realised that you lose all perception of height and spacial awareness suffers.  Somehow I did manage to top out.  Just enough time for one more route each, we opted to tackle the cave in the corner.  Half way up and climbing into the cave for a rest you quickly realise that the floor is steeped so you’re leaning backwards, nothing else for it but to carry on to the top.  

Two hours flies fast when you’re having fun.  Time to switch and after a sandwich and Jelly we head for the indoor wall.  Some very nice long routes with slightly peculiar grading, a 6a route which felt like a 5b and a 6a+ which felt like a 6c.  There were a few routes equipped with automatic belay devices so we give them ago.  It’s so strange just stepping of the route thinking you’re going to plummet to the ground and die, but alas it kicks in as planned and lowers you gently to the floor.  More sugar and a cup of tea and I was keen to push myself on a few more routes, the walls nice in that many of the routes are graded for smears only so more technical climbing can be attempted.  Many finger pinches and much smearing later I was nearly done for.  Off to the café for a plate of chips.  Ummmmm.  Kris was willing to give some of the smeary routes a stab and Scott and Andrew soon followed.

The Final Irish Six Nations game was being put on in the pub upstairs in the Ice Factor just for us and there was a great atmosphere.  Unfortunately it all went Pete Tong with a win by the French against the Scottish and alas France won the Six Nations title by the narrowest of margins.  Slightly dejected we headed for Glencoe to the bunkhouse.  Dinner, Shower and more Cider were the things I can remember.  From my photos I can see Scott got his hair straightened and Bernard had his slicked but it’s all a bit of a blur.  To The Pub.  On foot tonight as everyone was in a great mood and we wanted a bit of a party.  For some reason we got a few strange looks as 23 people piled into the pub wearing waterproofs and head torches.  The band setting up in the corner once played in Jordanstown Union years ago, but I still cant remember there name.  The craic was mighty as we chatted to others in the pub; next to us were some paddlers who were telling us how they were getting big action in the rivers with the melting snow everywhere.  The band tried to finish up but it was the J’town Massif who hounded them until they give up another track.  Last orders and closing time seemed to come early which seemed wrong on a Saturday night, as we headed for home a police car pulled into the car park.  Suspicious?

Back in the bunkhouse the cardboard box game commenced.  I've never had the flexibility for it but suppressed myself getting to the 2^nd last level, must be the cider talking.  I do remember climbing up the ladder to the top bunk and half way up dynoing for the top and totally slipping off and falling backward, luckily I landed in a big pile of rucksacks and thankfully there weren’t any axes under my crash site.  Other stuff happened that night, I just can’t remember much of it, anyone care to fill me in?

It wasn’t quite the same early start on Sunday as we didn’t have to stick to the guide’s timeframe of the previous two days.  There was a split among the group as to those who wanted to take it easy and those who wanted to head out on the hills again.  Quick of the mark Doug and Orla heading on there own wee expedition up the nearby mountains.  Michael named his bus the magical mystery machine and those on his bus assumed the names and personalities of Scooby Doo Characters.  That’s an entirely different story and I’ll leave it to those people to elaborate on their expedition.  Our group, the fearsome mountaineers went in search of some proper snow.  Driving to Fort William to check out the ski lift it was clear to see that recent snow fall had improved the situation but we still weren’t content so after a quick check of the atlas we took the decision to head north to the Cairngorms.  With me navigating and Ryan driving we had no chance of failure.  One little missed turn and us not realising for 20minutes meant we were driving the long way around Lough Ness.  

By 2pm we had reached aviemore and the snow looked intense.  Piled high on both sides of the road the white stuff beckoned.  Our original plan was to drive up the road to the ski lift and maybe get the train up the slopes, curses were issued when we saw the closed gate across the road and the sign saying the ski lifts would recommence on Monday morning.  Being quick out of the van Ryan, Anthony and I pelted the sliding door of the van with snowballs.  Andrew opened the window to shout abuse only to find the window catches and as he struggled with closing in snowballs kept raining in.  Soon the snowball arsenal was stood down and we let them exit the van.  Setting of along the path, flying snowballs came thick and fast, it probably took us an hour to walk the first half a mile.  On the path Tom announced that his boot was starting to split, no problem we thought that will only be a bit of a damp foot, a plastic bag over the sock will soon sort that out.  Oh No, Toms shoe was now in two pieces.  Tom volunteered (he insisted) to walk back down the path and to sit in the van and read his newspaper, we told him that would be boring and with a combination of fingertape, rubber glue and a tensioning strap we sorted out his boot.  The other one looking a little worse for wear got a helping of tape as well.  A short distance later we approached a bit of a clearing and seizing the moment we built a 7ft snowman.  After a number of group photos we carried on, hours later we reached the ski centre and sat down to have our 2^nd lunch of the day.  Tom’s boots were suffering and luckily a deer farming couple had driven up the hill to feed their herd so they kindly offered to drive Tom back to the van, Kate not wanting to leave tom all on his own with the complete strangers volunteered to accompany tom down the hill, while the rest of us walked.  Tom drove the bus up the hill (we discovered the gate wasn’t locked, just closed) and we were soon on our way back to Glencoe.  The route choice was a lot more obvious on the way home and the 100mile outward journey was only a 60mile homeward journey.

Following a dinner of chilli con carne came a brief presentation to the drivers (Michael and Andrew) and the organiser (and driver) Ryan for our appreciation for all their efforts in organising the trip and keeping the show on the roads.  F*** the Dealer was a card game introduced by Anthony and indeed he was the first to suffer as the dealer.  With everyone who was playing the game taking a go at dealer a lot of drink was drunk (soft drinks or other – more of the other).  Competitive chess games were being hard fought at the other end of the room in a slightly more dignified manner.

A small contingent wanted to spend a memorable night in the bunkhouse so we carried on until after 6am.  Anthony and Stephen decided an early morning nerve ball game would be good to wake up the neighbours before they headed of to sleepy land.  8.30 was when our alarms all started to go of.  With Ryan informing everyone that Stena Line had rang him during the previous night’s festivities to say our ferry was cancelled due to the extreme weather conditions out at sea.  We were advised to get to Stranear for 5pm so that we could be put on the slow boat.  Manic packing, eating and cleaning followed and we were on the road again.  The most hateful thing about the whole trip was the hugeeeee quantities of snow on each and every hill we went by, more than we’d seen all weekend.  All went to plan as we cruised along on our route to Stranear only getting a few strange looks, namely driving into Glasgow with Anto with his head out the window pretending to be a slobbering dog.  

Into in car park at 4pm we were in plenty of time for the 8pm slow boat.  Oh No Were Not!  When I went to the check-in desk I was informed the boat was now full and we could be booked on the 5am boat.  DAMN.  A number of calls to the person in the Stena office in Belfast who told us to be there for 5, reinforced how mad the boats had been all weekend and how many people were stuck in Scotland trying to get home.  Nothing else for it then – To the Pub!  Food was consumed and between some of us a challenge was set.  We’ll go to Tesco’s and buy the most useless item for under £1.  The losers were Doug with his water farm animal things, Orla and her Rennet (It makes cheese), Fla and her water farm animal things (Doug and Fla not getting the concept of 'so useless none else would even think of i'), and Me with My Edible Paper, but the winner had to be Michael with his ‘Cat Milk for Cats’.  Bizarre.  

Back to the pub to loiter til kicking out time with the highlight of the evening being the presentation of the first annual UUJMC Scotscar awards (full results on the Scotland Trip 07 thread on the message board).  Off to the buses for some zzzzz’s.  Well that’s what we thought until Bernard turned up and talked to a drunken Armin for what seemed like hours.  But alas 3am rolled around and we were instructed to move through the gates and towards the boat.  The door of our bus slid back and out jumped a mysterious figure leaped out into the night.  Apparently a chicken burger hadn’t agreed with young Spock and the first signs of food poisoning became obvious .  It didn’t get better.  On the boat about 4.30 an announcement was made that we wouldn’t be leaving dock until 8am.  At 8 we set sail, around the bay for about two hours.  While out “Cruising” the waves, Scott wasn’t getting any better and to cut a long story short, we were told by the duty manager to get Scott of his ship (we nearly give him up), but on Scott’s insistence we kept him on board.  The boat pulled back into Stranear and we picked up more foot passengers, this time we were lucky and we carried on out to the Irish Sea and on to Belfast .  Big waves were forecasted but very little materialised.  The only decision left for me was whether or not to go into work for afternoon – I think not.

All in all it was a great trip, everyone came back alive and I can’t remember everything now that a month has passed.  Thanks to all who organized in anyway.  It was much appreciated.

Mark    (Photos Here)

Well, due to problems that were entirely my fault the new stories section just didnt take off as expected.

I've reopened the journal in the hope that we will get some of our posters back!

After several years long service the UUJMC Journal is now closing.

But fear not! Its being replaced!!!!

The new interactive stories page on the site will allow you to post up club trips, stories and wee trips all using the same logins as the forum

Go to-

http://www.uujmc.com/stories

And so it begins, at 5 o’clock in the morning the clan gather at Colm and Christine’s for the trek South of the Border to Dublin Airport and the much anticipated trip to Chamonix, I’ve heard all sorts of stories about Chamonix over the years and was really looking forward to it, typically we arrived in the rain and couldn’t see much but we newbies were aware that there were some huge big lumps of mountain lurking out there in the cloud. Firstly we negotiated with the famously (and deservedly so) grumpy Bernard, the keeper of Les Chosalets camp site, and then sited our homes for the next 2 weeks, on a fecking ski slope (i.e. it were far from flat!!!) Our first proper day began the next day and once the rain had subsided, a walk was commenced,  the idea being that a wee walk up the mountain at he rear of the campsite would help is all to acclimatise to the altitude, especially since all of us were intending to go higher during our visit, this walk was a hell of an introduction to exercise in the high mountains (my lungs thought they were going to burst and I’m reasonably fit),  after our hike (600m of climb and we weren’t even halfway up!!) we retired to nosey around Argentiere, and to investigate the infamous Rencard, mmm Hoegaarden!!

The next day Guio and myself left the gang and took our places on the BMC Conville Course, for 3 days of beasting up and down mountains. The first day we were taken up to Le Grand Montet, for some general snow work and learning how to move about roped up like a chain gang! It was good fun and we learned loads in the most amazing classroom I have ever been in (it was a snow covered glacier!!), after several hours messing around in the snow we climbed the seemingly thousands of steps back up to the cable car for the journey back to Argentiere, such a struggle! I was so tired that night, I shovelled twice the amount of pasta it is sensible to eat into me in the effort to try and provide my body with the required energy for the next day, which we were promised would be even harder work. We began with a slightly later start and were told that we were being taken up the valley to Le Tour, before facing 2 cable cars and a 90 minute uphill walk to the Albert Premier Hut, which was a slog but was OK, a brief break and it was down onto the Glacier for some more chain gang practice and also learning crevasse rescue, I got dumped into a very wet and seemingly bottomless crevasse before being hauled out sometime later, rather wetter and colder than I was before I went in, waterproofs a necessity!! We repeated this for every member of the group and it was off back to the hut for some high altitude chicken curry, mmm. I was wrecked and went to bed early, only to be woken by and angry Frenchman who was accusing me of sleeping in his bed, I’m not sure as my French was quite up to the shouting he was directing at me, but it was all sorted out eventually! We were up and about again at 5 in the morning for our trip to the top of Aguille de Tour, for some reason I was put at the front of the group and pointed in the general direction of a  large mountain, it was an absolutely amazing experience that I will never forget, I thought the view as we crossed the ridge into Switzerland was stunning, but was beaten by the view as we scrambled up the ridge to the summit of the mountain itself. After that it was all downhill, literally as we headed back down the mountain back to Argentiere, all in all the Conville Course is a fantastically worthwhile experience and the knowledge the guides impart to you, and the confidence this gives you is absolutely invaluable and I heartily recommend you try and get out to Chamonix and get on this course.

The next day as a kind of rest we headed of f to Les Gaillands for a touch of cragging and a wee nosey round Chamonix town, a Poco Loco burger and to watch the final of the world climbing competition, these guys and girls really know how to climb!!

We had a date the next day, you may remember Rick requesting anyone who goes to Chamonix needs to have a picture taken of them on top of the Aiguillette De Argentiere, Claire, Guio and myself headed up to do our duty, the others having already done so whilst we were Conville-ing and Claire had only arrived out the night before, what a nice climb in an amazing situation, I’ll admit to being a bit scared as I moved out into the arête, but feck me, it was a long way down to the valley floor!! All in all this was good preparation for doing the Index the next day, however we needed more preparation for fecking guides with fecking rich tourists climbing all over us and unclipping our ropes…bastards!!! This route is even more exposed than the Aiguillette , and had me worried, but glad I’ve done it.

We took it easy for the next few days with some cragging at Les Gaillands and at Servoz (too hot, so ice cream and Stella Artois were the order of the day!!) and some window shopping in Chamonix (gear freak’s paradise). A drunken plan of action was formed in the Rencard and a motion was passed to get everyone up high (8 of us, an Odyssey and James’s tent at 3500m high to be exact) to spend the night on the Col Du Midi, Claire not being of stout UUJ stock was going to come up for the laugh and then catch the last cable car back down to the valley that same night, but the campsite being further than the promised “10 minutes from the cable car” fecked things up royally and she ended up spending the night anyway, minus sleeping bag and sleepmat!! Next morning after some disturbed sleep, some of the gang headed off to do the Midi Plan Traverse, one of the gang sunbathed all day on the Glacier and I led Christine and Claire back down off the mountain and into a Chinese restaurant in Chamonix for a late breakfast, having been “papped” by several tourists trudging along an amazing snow ridge back to the cable car station, the drop on the right went to the valley floor 2 km below!! This snow ridge I should point out was maybe a foot wide at its widest point, and walking it was one of the highlights of my trip, the exposure was mad and the feeling was class. The night before when we were heading down, James and I duped some Japanese tourists into thinking we were proper mountaineers and posed for photos, fools!! There’ll be some Japanese brochure to the Midi with us two leering out of it, arrrggh!!

The rest of the trip went quite quietly  for me, with some more cragging some touristing  up on the Mer De Glace , other people did other routes and will no doubt post their activities here. A great  trip and I’ll definitely be back!!

Well I was right! No pubs involved in the QUB trip at all, the only explanation I can offer for this unusual situation is that we were on Gola and there is feck all there! The trip to Gola started off started off quite late as we had to wait for Guio, a second UUJMC member seconded to QUB for the weekend (together we made up 1/3 of the trip!). After driving west through some awful heavy rain we splashed down in Bunbeg and pitched tents to await the arrival of Jimmy the boatman, and his spangly boat!

Once the tents we pitched in was off in search of rock fit for a climbing’ and it was off to the Inland Crag first of all, where Guio lead Legislator 15m D and seconded an E1, then followed me up Weathered Window 15m VS 4b (she seconded it twice!!) We then moved on then to the Gripple Wall, you’ll know it, it’s the one on the cover of the Donegal Guide, Guio lead (she’s fast becoming some sort of climbing animal, good work Guio) a rather wet a slimy looking Jean A Cheval (I think) 16m S, I lead a rather nasty and wet Ex Eagle 16m VS 4c, all the while wondering if Claire who was belaying me was going to get washed away by the waves, I nearly shit myself when a wave broke round her ankles and she screamed!! What with the waves breaking on the belay ledge we moved on to Binatoke, where Claire and Guio took on 20 Yards a Groanin’ S 4a, and I was lead up a new route by Joe (he isn’t Queens either, 50% of the people weren’t from Queens!!) this route is to the right of Paul’s No.1 and the left of  Seaside Groove. It is awkward, even more so since it was wet in places (I took a couple of wingers near the top!) we reckon its HVS 5a or E1 5b, its name may be “Things to do with yoghurt”

We called it a night after that and retired for BBQ, beer and campfire, good fun!

The next day the weather was bootiful and the 3 pairs all split up so I’ve no idea what others were doing, bar Guio did another route , Kept Woman** VD. Claire and I went back to the inland crag, I was trying to bag my second HVS when I took my first fall on lead, and found that my gear holds, phew, but it rattled me and I backed off after placing 2 more bits of gear! Claire was aiming for her first VS, and started valiantly up Weathered Window 15m VS 4b, but had a freshly placed piece of gear ping out and the brown fear threatened an appearance so a second route was backed off. That was it, bar packing up and taking Jimmy’s boat back to the real world, quiet but good .

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GOLA TRIP REPORT

 

While some people went to Fairhead to join the Dalriada Club, to celebrate Paul’s and Rick’s birthdays (Happy birthday guys!), to suffer the rain and to climb a wee bit (they will better tell all about that themselves), some others decided to fraternize with the enemy and went to Gola with the Queen’s climbers.

 

Although I was worried to be outnumbered and I could already picture our nemesis with war paints on their faces and more than ready to slag the hell out of UUJMC, truth was that there were only two of them, poor pets! But I will hand it to them, we got the royalty of the Queen’s club: former presidente Claire and future head of the scu…, Peter. The minimalist group also counted with wee Peter, Joe (el hombre mono), Kerrin and myself, holding the UUJMC flag well high.

 

After a night trip to Bunbeg (thanks guys for waiting until I finished my ten hour shift at work!) with lots of slaging for Claire to endure. You keep telling yourself it is quality what matters and not quantity. We camp till the next morning when Jimmy Gogola came to pick us up, with a new more robust boat! JP you would like this one! Big Peter behave like a champion and did not puke, not even a slight shade of green on his face (sea sick, you see)

 

Once checked there were no donkeys to carry our belongings, we set off for the campsite, where we pitched the tents up. After much deliberation about whether it was heavy drizzle of rain (water falling of the sky, wet whatever way you look at it!) with some of us inclining for a second breakfast, Joe’s zest for destroying his hands’ skin, and that of whoever wanted to follow, took over and himself, the Pete team and myself headed for the Inland Crack, leaving the mission of public relationships with Queen’s to Kerrin, important task with the Queen’s hut in the Mournes soon to be re-opened!

 

The Pete team was a little indecisive with only one of them taking his harness, shoes and rest of the gear with him. Joe nicely went up the Weather Window VS 4b, seconded by me, to then go for an E1, which name I can’t remember, up which I huffed and puffed, quite different from the couple of E1 I had seconded in Fairhead. The Pete team finally started climbing going up Tasty Morsel HVS***5a/b. I leaded Legislator D, with easy gigantic steps; good experience for placing gear, good hexes and not so good. actually quite crap nuts (must improve). First note: the importance of shouting your lungs out in a windy day; after setting the belay anchors, I started taking all the slack and once it felt tight and could not take any more I went to put the rope through the belay plate, only to feel there was some more slack, so I took it. When for second time I felt more slack when trying to put the rope through the belay plate I took a look over the edge of the wall just to see Joe had started the climb! It was unlikely he would have fallen off a D, but still!

 

Smiley Kerrin came along a bit later and got ready to lead. The weathered window, which I seconded for second time (I will lead it some time) and proved to be a good opportunity to check the different ways people can place gear.

 

After her beauty sleep and almost biting wee Peter’s head off for waking her up, Claire joined us and Kerrin, Joe, Claire and myself headed for the Gripple Wall. Actually, before that Joe and Kerrin attempted Fur Burger E15a and Gorgonzola **E25c (I think) but came back down; the climbing head was a bit weak. So off to the Gripple Wall and we left the Pete team at the Inland Crag; they would follow us later on.

 

By now the weather had dried off a bit and we even felt some sunrays (go on positive thinking power! I reckon we could make Ireland a second El Chorro or Majorca!). We speedily abseiled with Claire and Joe showing off their recently SPA gained knowledge…although none told Joe and me not to leave the half ropes we would later need for climbing up on top of the climb UPS! Second note: the importance of bringing ropes with you when abseiling a cliff! We got them thanks to Kerrin and Claire who climbed the Ex Eagle VS 4c, while I leaded Jean A cheval S4a (my 5^th lead in my whole climbing life, uhu!). It was a nice squeeeeezy route, but after a bit of side climbing, right bridging and lots of “where the heck can I place gear?” I got to the top. I must say, Joe’s rack must be one of the lightest racks I have ever seen, probably half less gear than what I had been using in Culdaff the previous weekend in routes half as long as the ones in Gola, but it is all good! Some gravel came off the route, alien alike animals crawled over the gear and the belayers got slightly splashed; Claire does not like water at all at all at all! I think next time we climb in cliffs belayers should be issued with a snorkel. The Pete team did Pride of Gola ***S and Maid of Gola HS, but do not quote me on this one.

Since nothing else could be done in this part of the island (Pride of Gola get ready for a future climb!), we headed towards the Twin Cave Buttress but it was wet and the tide was very high…. Nope! So we continued to Binatoke North Wall, where Claire leaded 20 Yards a ‘Groanin’ S4a and I seconded her; lovely ladder full of cams/friends and Claire’s wee nut! Meanwhile Joe and Kerrin started Atlantic Shore E15b and Jimmy Gogola HVS 5a, but again the force was with them not, so they did something between Paul’s No.1 HVS5a and Seaside GroveVD, or so they think.

 

The rain came back and our tummies were demanding BBQ! Back to the campsite we gathered some wood, which wee Peter chopped into small pieces after a lot of “hug” and stone throwing, so the plan of team-bouncing to crack the bench to make the fire did not have to be implemented. The Pete team and Joe got the BBQ going (it is just as well there were only 6 of us! It was the smallest BBQ in the world!); Claire and Kerrin were mixing their beef and chillies (for the hamburgers!) while I mastered the art of singing trout ventriloquism. Food and conversation went well although a question is still lingering over my head: what were those veggie sausages made out of? In any case they looked like they would have made a mighty fire! And then people think trout is a strange choice of food for a BBQ!

 

We run out of wood (and sausages!), Joe’s uses of yoghurt and slagging of Claire and big Peter for the massive concurrence for their club’s final year trip, so we went to sleep.

 

The next morning we were welcome by midgies (how do you spell these Northern Irish words?) which took a special liking for my head! The Pete team were the first to leave, followed by Joe and myself, almost choking on my tea. Again, Kerrin and Claire were left to fulfil their duties as PR between the UUJMC and Queen’s and mainly to get psyched up for Kerrin’s second HVS lead, tasty Morsel, and Claire’s attempt to the Weather Window, a route that sustains the status of a classic after this weekend, but they will tell you about it.

 

The Pete team went to the Main Wall Area but I really haven’t a clue as for what they climbed. Joe and myself followed them to go to the Run of the Arrow ***HS4b, a lovely HS, long and a bit tight on the old calves but full of smooth moves. And it was good we followed The Pete Team; do you remember what I said about how not so good idea is to abseil leaving behind the ropes you will later need for climbing? Well, guess what had they just done?

 

My turn to lead and my head was still good! Kept woman, only VD but if you only knew how shaky my head can be! While I was going up this great route looking for as many placements I could use for the sake of practising (well, as many as Joe’s pocket rack would allow me. Just kidding man!), The Pete team were taking some photos (I hope to see them soon!) Nice last move over a well jammed rock; I so want to see that posing photo!

 

We saw Claire and Kerrin on our way to The Gripple Wall, having a wee break. Would have Kerrin gotten his second HVS? Would have Claire leaded the Weather window? Those are their own stories. We started Ex Eagle, a route Joe decided to lead after his inspiration to open a new route between Ex Eagle and Sea Eagle had abandoned him. I was going to do Pride of Gola, but again the tide was coming up and Jimmy was waiting for us; by the way I did not know Jimmy was a member of the Sweeny species! So we legged for the campsite, where big Peter was already packed and wondering where those dam donkeys had hidden their ears. We got onto Jimmy’s new bling bling motor and left Gola behind. Typically that day’s weather was just perfect, but work and getting up early on Monday (at 6:30 am as Kerrin reminded us many times) were waiting for some of us. On the way back we enjoyed some Watercress tunes, class band from Belfast, and snoring. And that is that.

 

FIN

 

PS. Third note: leave sweeties in the car, they taste so so so good on the way back home!

 

  

 

 

 

Days 1&2 Ceuse - hard walk in, harder climbing, can't even onsight 6a oh dear

Days 3 to 12 Buoux - best crag in Europe?  Well after Fair Head in my opinion.  Great spot, Lovely varied climbing at all grades.  Best Managed 6a+ onsight... Who ate all the pies...

In between visits to Chateauvert good road side crag.  6b climbed with rests and Saint Victoire, 450 metre route climbed with pitches on HVS.

Day 13 - Dentelles de Montmiralle.  Impressive from a distance but unfortunately easier stuff is shite and harder stuff is hard....  Nice place though and great wine to be had in gigondas!

Days 14,15,16 - Orpierre, Most polised crag in the world? Quite possibly but still some nice routes there.  Did a 3 pitch 5c and then a couple of steep single pitches.  Tried a 6c and almost got there but ran out of all steam and had to lower off one bolt from the top...

Days 17,18 - Back to Ceuse, Feeling stronger and then get my ass KICKED on a 6b called Super Mario, fantastic route but some of the moves.... Run out too.  Climb a fantastic 6b though straight after which was steep pockets for 25 metres, did rest twice though.

Back in Cham now, with a good sun tan and the love handles are still there... ah well.

Advice go visit Buoux and Ceuse

An advance party headed up to Culdaff at some point on Friday morning and did a wee bit of exploring in the peeing rain, others who had to work left it till much later on before heading up in the pissing rain, with the prospect of pitching a tent in a very wet, dark field. Luckily / amazingly the advance party were so wrung out and pathetic looking some locals took pity on them and offered the use of an empty house for  the night (….yes you read that right, and the house was furnished, what a result!!) and gave them some birthday food, all they had to do was give the locals a bit of finest UUJMC karaoke action!!. That was an excellent surprise, I for one was expecting an unpleasant night in a wet tent, but ended up with a lovely bed. Sadly the rain continued on into the next day and spoiled chances of a good days climbing, that said Colm got up a route and so did Sharon and Vincent. Any routes I looked at looked extremely green with some nasty top outs, so I avoided. Others avoided climbing and went caving instead, crazy fools! Saturday night was spent avoiding the gimp of a Scots Karaoke MC in the pub, and then avoiding the rain on the way back to the tents.

Sunday morning lived up to its name and morning arrived in glorious sunshine, so a touch of scran was devoured and after a much needed wash in the sea for some people it was off to the crag for some climbing. As Steve has already said on the message board, I too have never seen so many club members on the wall at once, leading, I only saw a couple of top ropes being used, I think Claire was surprised that UUJ aren’t all a bunch of gluebags and do get up routes. Steve was climbing like an animal on a different route every time I looked round, so was Will whose aim was to do all routes on one page of the guide in one day, fair play to Roisin for putting up with that deviant behavior!!! He got close. Michael and Ryan were going along nicely, not as easy as you thought, eh Michael?? Guio got in 2 new leads and some seconds. Colm and Christine were mostly hiding from me I think, I saw them standing at the bottom of routes and at the top of routes but not actually on any routes!! Snookums and Twinkle were battling along nicely. I managed 2 routes including my 1^st HVS, (woo hoo) Shiny Cossacks  22m HVS 5a., I was properly kacking myself on that one I’ll tell ya! Routes people were spotted on were Chockstone Gully, SRS Slab, Belfast Blitz Boys, Absent Friends, Birds Nest Bulge, Blubelle, Cheatin Bitch, Barbara’s Baby, Orange Blossom, Master of Puppets, Ballerina something, Shiny Cossacks, and some others I can’t remember. All in all an excellent wee trip bring on the next one, cheers guys and girls!!!

I’m being lent to Queens next week, so my next trip report my be…..well lets just say it’ll involve less pubs and much much less badness!

Another weekend another crag and this time it was the turn of the North Coast, the plan was Dunseverick, but strong winds and high tides (Doh!) meant that the bottom half of these sea cliffs were being battered by great big waves, not ideal if you were the belayer. Dunseverick looks nice, there are approx 40 routes mostly S, HS, and VS, though you do have to abseil in, be sure you can get out!!

Common sense prevailed (I know, it’s a rare thing) and we headed to the Small Crag at Fairhead, where heavy rain/ sleet attacked us, and we again retreated, this time back to Vincent’s so he could practice his tea making skills, good work!

Once the weather had brightened up we again ventured out to the Small Crag, and found the conditions to be dry, windy and cold but suitable for climbing. Vincent put his newly acquired SPA skills to good use and set up an abseil for us and down we went. Claire led off and climbed up Spinola* 18m S 4a and Vincent clambered up Fissure Fuar* 15m HS 4b. I led Bullrush* 14m VS 4c, some lovely moves on that one, and Heidi took a back seat and let Vincent lead Spinola* 18m S 4a, where he topped out in the style of beached whale trying to get back into the sea, most amusing!

And that as they say was that, apart from a drive back down the road to Belfast, which I didn’t have to do, yay!! Cheers.

 

 

The snow is disappearing and the rock drying up here in Chamonix.  Yesterday Evening, Matt Dickinson and I went out and looked at a new mammoth boulder we'd eyed up last year but hadn't done anything on.  We took a brush and some beer and after a warm up went for a look.

Not really expecting to get anything as we're both pretty weak at the moment (though Matt's weak is most people Very Strong).  But after some dicey brushing expeditions we started slapping on. Matt sent the problem - Now named THE GUNT pretty quickly and repeated it first go after. Reckon English 6a or V3/V4

We moved around and looked at a heinous looking line but no go.  Found an interesting looking arete under 6 inches of moss and after a good cleaning and a beer to help forget the ankle breaking landing I sent it at about English 5b/5c or V1 although felt harder as it was still so slimey. CANKLES this one was called.

Finally looking at another heinous line with no decent holds and a horrendous landing, I spotted a nice line on an arete.  All we needed was a hold.  Thankfully it proved to be there after more gardening and a fantastic problem was unearthed.  A wild, barndooring dyno to a slopey, flatty kind of hold, followed by a high rock over to a half decent hold and good feet led to a delicate mantle finish to give BINGO WINGS a solid V4 and possibly the best problem in the Grand Montets Forest.

Confusion reined at the point of setting out, either Claire was 12 hours early or I was 12 hours late, it depends on you point of view. When we eventually made it to Culdaff, we found the rest of the clan crawling out of their pits at midday!! We moved on to the crag to the climb fest and found it a tad crowded with mucho spectators, so we scuttled round the coast to the Seaward Crag, where I took on Black Persuasion** 25m S 4a, and found it to be a piece of crap with, crap gear, running water, mucho plants, lots of loose holds and really crappy belay points at the top of the crag, so I’d avoid if I were you. Claire seconded me and pronounced it rather unpleasant also, after this we moved back to the main crag and Claire took on Bluebelle 12m D, which Andrew then top roped. We swapped again and I had another bash at Absent Friends “Five” 15m HS 4b, which I’d done before last year, it’s a one move wonder but the move is lovely. Claire and Andrew both followed me up, good job!! That was the extent of our climbing. Jenny was spotted leading Rick up Orange Blossom*** 15m HS 4b, a lovely route if I remember correctly. James was spotted playing the complete sketch artist on Calamity Collins** 14m HS 5a, and Mr Steve got his first HVS, well done sir, that’s you and Vincent I’ve to catch up on then.

After this we retired to pitch the tents behind Bunagee Pier and settle down for a touch of the beer and some grub. There was free beer provided, a BBQ, and a campfire of badness around which there were gathered some crazy foreigners with bongo drums and bad singing till the wee, wee hours of the morning. The next morning we were greeted with pouring rain, and faced with wet rock and a long journey home we decamped and piled into the car for the trip home. All good Craic!!

 The day started off bloody early for me after a night out on the sauce, and it was gather as much of my gear as I could find and head up to Will’s for a wee trip to the Mournes. As we were heading down the weather looked pretty gloomy and low clouds had hemmed in Donard and Commedagh, but it was brighter round towards Pigeon (my lazy ass didn’t want a walk in further than 30minutes!!). After pretending not to notice numerous “Road Closed” signs we got to Pigeon and loaded up. Our aim was the same part of the crag that Sharon and I visited 2 weeks ago, and for William and Roisin to do some of the same routes. After consulting the book of knowledge and taking into account that William hasn’t seen rocks in ages (unless he was paddling past them) I pointed him in the direction of  Pi R Squared 30m S (3c) and let him get on with it, he looked to have no problems at all, nor did Roisin who took on the second. (I had a wee sleep in the sun while this was all going on so am actually making most of this up). Since I was there and it would have been rude not to, dandered up it on top rope, though taking the direct finish for fun. It was a gentle abseil to the bottom and it was my turn, I had my eye on Pilliger 30m HS (4b), which has an E1 variation in it I was tempted to have a lash at, but the start of the route was so fecking awkward I gave up and did the normal finish, through every sodding thorn bush, gorse bush, and huge clump of grass on the crag!! The first half is crap, but there are 1 or 2 nice moves near the top, but I wouldn’t bother unless you really like gardening! William wasn’t too keen to follow after my grunting and swearing but as I’d cunningly used his gear he had to come up, and to be fair he made it look a hell of a lot easier than I did! We called it a day after this, as we were now in shadow and it wasn’t that warm. Another grand day out.

 

Where do I start? The fact that some people forgot the clocks changed or the night spent sleeping on the floor in Bergamo Railway Station? The trip started a  bit crazily with 4 people completely filling my car for the journey to Dublin, thus followed a thankfully uneventful flight to Bergamo in Italy, where it being a public holiday the entire world was waiting on the hire cars they had booked, where we were waiting or any hire car at all, since prior planning isn’t a familiar concept! With no car a night was spent in the railway station (long story, I might tell you if you ask nicely, I will say that there were 2 burly security guards and an Alsatian involved), before returning to pick up a car the next day for the drive to Lake Garda, well done Colm! (they tried to hire us a wee Punto, we’d have needed a big magic stick to get us all in). We eventually pulled into the Camping Zoo (really) in Arco, that was to be our home for the next few days at mid-dayish to find glorious sunshine (Scorchio!!) and huge cliffs all around us, we were in the right place all righty!! A wee nap and it was my turn behind the wheel to get us to Massone, for our introduction to Italian Limestone and my intro to sport climbing. Massone is a big area that is only about 4Km at most from the campsite and was full of people climbing, as in Wednesday Night at the Ozone stylee, feckin mental! It was here that I learned “Once you get to the top, clip in, clove hitch the rope, untie from yourself, thread it through the chain and tie yourself back in” – Fecking hell, what had I let myself in for?? But it was cool and we knocked off 5 or 6 routes (on some rather polished rock), before retiring to scoff a loada de pasta and bed!

Next day we went to Muro Del Asino, which is another nearby crag, this one was described as having a nice walk in (read huge hill, lined with the stations of the cross) but the crag was described as “adequate.” The first crag we came across you’d have run up in your trainers but we found the proper one round the corner. It was also bunged to the gills with climbers but a wee shower of the wet stuff soon scared them off, whilst waiting we took a dander up to the top of the hill where there was a big cross and some amazing views out over the valley, the Castello de Arco and the lake below. Sharon and Guio led out, back on the crag but there was some crazies about (I don’t think he knew what planet he was on, never mind what route he was doing) and the routes were a tad on the easy side, with any I did being one move wonders, also many of them weren’t in the book of knowledge and were probably grade 3 or low 4, a bit crap but did the job of entertaining us for a day, I even got in some Via Ferrata which was nice. The day was finished by a wee dander round Arco, its numerous climbing shops, some scoops in the local hostelry and a bigga feeda de pasta!

Wednesday and back to me driving, though the world’s narrowest streets to Nago, a huge crag that was maybe 12Km from Arco, and well worth the drive!! The climbs there would be described in guidebook speak as “Exposed” or maybe “Airy”, this means they are seriously high up on the side of a mountain with stunning views out over Lake Garda (See the photo of Sharon on the photo page and look at the background). The weather was fantastic, Scorchio !!! We did a load of routes here and the climbs were of a much better quality than the previous day, so good in fact that we were still climbing in the dark!! (shades of Scotland) We drove home happy and sunburnt in the pissing rain, for a bigga feeda of de…..sandwiches in the car coz it really was chucking it down! We made a wee visit to the local pub where they served some most excellent German beer….Christine I’m sorry to report that Colm was on the pull, and managed a kiss from a wee pig I’m not sure which was more shocked, Colm or the pig (he declared no contact with livestock on re-entry to Ireland!!!)

Next day despite plans for Guio and myself to make a quick return to Nago for her to bag a couple routes she’d eyed up the previous day the rain cancelled the planned Alpine style early start and we all went in search of Multipitch routes at a much more sensible time. We ended up at a huge slab above the main road to Garda, where we split into teams of Colm and myself and the Sharon and Guio. From the bottom of the second pitch it looked like a snooker table, with nowt in the way of handholds or ledges, I bottled it and backed off, Colm switched the brain off and scuttled up carefully, and I followed learning just how grippy rock shoes actually are, I redeemed myself on the next pitch as the bolts were about 10 feet apart! Sadly I blew it on the way down by having a squad of Germans laughing at my abseiling technique and my comedy use of safety devices such as prussiks, fair enough though as we abseiled down their ropes and took long enough about it! Feeling slightly sore of calf muscle we went for a dander round the castle on the hill, or rather we found we had to pay in and looked at the castle on the hill from the bit beside it that was free! Then it was home time for a bigga feeda of the…..rice pudding with sweet and sour sauce, (really don’t ask), the girls had the right idea and went missing and were found in the pub! Mike and Kathryn (I’ve probably spelt it wrong feel free to tell me off) turned up, we knew something was up when we found a sign mentioning “Mooncats” on the tent, and made us go back to the pub!

After a quick Friday morning pray in the direction of Culdaff we packed up and headed south to Garda, where we dumped Andrew, Colm and Sharon (they got some routes in and did a bit of a recce for the next day, oh and fecked about on the golf course by the sound of it)whilst I drove Guio back to the airport. I eventually found my way back to Garda and picked up the clan members for some pizza and beer action in Garda itself.

Saturday began with zooming back up through the golf course to the crag for some grade 5 action, Sharon managed to bag 8 routes I think, 2 of them in the dark!!!! Andrew too was getting in some serious top rope action in. The views from this crag were stunning, as you started amongst the trees and popped out into Mucho Scorchio Sunshine at the top of the routes. Mike and Kathryn were joined by Helmut and followed us down to Garda so to celebrate we had a huge feed of…yep… pasta and some of Mike’s Gnocchi (spud type things that are like eating lumps of semi congealed wallpaper paste)

For Sunday, our last climbing day, we headed over towards Verona to a place called Stallavena, via the twistiest road I have ever driven along, (the hairpins were so tight I had to reverse and have 2 goes at some of them), I think Sharon had her eyes shut for a lot of that drive, and judging by the squeaks wasn’t enjoying the drive. We eventually made our way to a massive crag and got some uninvited help from a local (we’re not sure if it was male of female , but we thought about stealing their rope they carelessly left lying by my rucksack as way of compensation!!) (we didn’t, we left it there…..honest) (no really we did). Here the climbing continued at pace until dark, when we headed home via a different route, enabling me to get the car rear-ended in Verona (no damage thank feck) and it was a late night pizza before heading to bed.

The last morning was spent carelessly stuffing things that had been carefully packed before and wondering why the hell they didn’t fit anymore, a trip to Sirmione before heading to the airport finished off our Italian adventure.

We learned some valuable lessons on our trip, if you can’t find the crag, its right next to a Chapel (always), darkness can be a help on some routes (you can’t see the drop), Germans are crazy (Mike brought a sledge), ice cream and beer do mix and don’t let Andrew pick the rice!! Oh to those doubters (Vincent this means you)…NO SNOW!!! Roll on the next trip!

The weather forecast had predicted snow and wind for the weekend but this didn't stop us - we were going to the Mournes regardless!  Parking at Carricklittle, a good warm-up walk to Lower Cove (power march in some cases!).  Arriving at the correct buttress it was decided to set up 2 routes with other members going over to the cave and Guio went walking.  At thye cave, I (christine) gracefully wiggled up through the wee hole to the top, and Paul, Vincent, Andrew, Bernard, Michael and Lydia decided to practice abseiling out of the cave.  Meanwhile Weel put his technology and design skills to use by constructing a tarpaulin shelter, Roisin no doubt supervising the operation. 

Everyone had a go top-roping the 2 routes (VD + S) - well done to those who have now completed their first outdoor climb!- a great achievement considering most people couldn't feel their hands with the cold!

Discovering an E3 just round the corner, Kerrin, Weel and Vincent decided top-roping was in order - lots of expressive/descriptive adjectives were emitted ;o).  Vincent, attacked the route with hail pelting down on him and made it the whole way to the top - woohoo! 

So the day finished off in Mauds and of course Quinns in Newcastle (this is becoming a tradition) - a brilliant day out! 

Thanks to all who went and of course especially Kerrin, Sean and Colm for belaying

Best day of the season yet.  Only one lift open so a bit of sneaky traversing and a boot pack coupled with a clearing in visibility led to an astounding afternoon riding champagne powder.  One huge tumble left me seeing stars though...

Following day wake up not feeling too hot, non alchol related; but off I go skiing again.  2 runs, throw up 5 times and have taken to bed since.  I'm sure none of you have any sympathy for me but I don't care as its still snowing and i'm feeling better!

Well now folks we have come to the end of this year’s competition season, and it’s a cracker. We start with 2 members of the club are poised to win the Female section, in the Blue corner representing Germany – Heidi “The

Machine” Stettner and in the Red Corner representing Northern Ireland – Sharon “Animal” McGuigan. Each had to beat the other to win the competition, it was going to be close. The routes this time around were slightly more technical than usual, due to route setters be flown in specially from Sheffield, and  this made life a tad more interesting as real thought was required, rather than the brute force and ignorance I usually rely on. After an afternoon of hard effort from everyone, yep I was watching, it came the time for the Weeeners to be announced, Heidi beat Sharon on the day and drew on points for the league, but a judge’s decision gave the title and a nice down jacket to Sharon (It is suspected that Sharon has been sleeping with the judge, no actually the suspicion is that as Sharon attended more rounds of the IBL she should win), Heidi was presented with a nice Gortex jacket, not a bad prize. Well done to the pair of you. Other club members achieved personal bests, which led to numerous UUJMC members in the top half of their respective sections, so a big well done to all.

Results are available on  http://www.climbing.ie/events/ibl2005.html

The night that followed in O’Neils Bar (I felt a right plonker walking through the streets of Dublin with you lot following me, by the way) was a bit mental, with tomato sauce drinking followed by Guinness showering, a narrowly avoided punch up and where was that party exactly lads?????

The following morning in Dalkey was a bit rough for some, with hangovers kicking in. I witnessed 5 routes being led (I did one, before retiring) but have no idea what any of them were called as we had no guidebook, but those of us who did the Learn to Lead course the previous weekend were able to put what we had learned to good use, which was nice! Well done to Chris, Orla and Roisin who have only been let loose outdoors on a couple of occasions so far, you were going rightly.

Cheers to Colm and Christine for driving and organising us, to Roisin for the painkillers and everyone else for a fun weekend.

A fantastic few days off from work. A nice hungover lie in on Sunday, get up and am propmtly taken race training...  Without doubt I am the best ski racer to have ever come out of my immediate family. 

Monday its off up to the Argentiere glacier with John Healy from Cork.  The ice falls on the left looking up are humongous but not as scary when you are under them.  Unfortunately I wasn't feeling it and we bailed after a rope length of 4+.  Had a pair of leashless axes though and hey they are like cheating!

Tuesday its off Ski touring again with John.  Up Index lift and over the Col du Crouchues (known better to some as the Cushies) and over and up to the Col du Berard.  Snow was rubbish and we had the French Army in tow but a nice walk in the mountains none the less.

 

 5-6 February 2005

It has been decided by the powers that be that some of us clowns needed to Learn how to Lead (what do you mean, some of us have been seen leading VS at the Head??), and not being the sort to pass up the opportunity of doing any sort of course 4 of us were despatched to the Mournes to learn how to be cold mostly. Saturday started with a 2 hour lie in Woo!! (getting up at 8 is a 2 hour lie in, how sad am I??), and then all pile into the blue mobile for a trip down to meet Andy Porter, some of you may remember “Robo-Guide” from Freshers and Scotland, after distributing gear (when he says he’s carrying a rope he means he has 10m of cord in his rucksack, not a 60m abseil rope Paul was carrying) we tramped  up to Lower Cove, for a spot of learning. Jesus we did everything wrong, or it felt like we did everything wrong, larks foot knots are bad, slip knots instead of overhand knots are worse, screwgates need to be tightened, all sorts of stuff you know but instantly forget as soon as you are being watched, but at least we were learning! We had split into 2 groups going by experience, Weeel and Jenny took on Tyro 18m VD and won, myself and Paul beat back North Wall 30m S, but it was tough going as the rock was so cold it was hard to feel if you were holding on at all. Every bit of gear placed had to be graded from 1-10, 10 being bomber and 1 might slow you down, when it pings! Certainly makes you think. Each member managed to lead a route that day, but it was not pleasant climbing conditions at all. Still that said we all learned how to rapidly set up a good belay position, which is good.

The next day after a night avoiding going to the pub, (too cold and tired) we tramped up to Spellack for another spot of standing about in the cold. This time Paul and Jenny lead off on the routes, and having seconded Paul up Spanish Burgundy (Variation a) 20m HS, good lead fella, that is the most horrible climb I’ve done…. cold, wet, slimy jamming yuk! Jenny, used a few interesting moves to get up Single Berth 20m S 4a, which had us all laughing hard…cams anyone…….please??? The lessons from the previous day were applied and the belays were set up really quickly, apart from the massive tangle William managed to ensnare me in!!

We then learned how to get out of the belay system should the climber render themselves unconscious, we only need to render someone unconscious and dangle them on a rope to test this out though.

All in all a good weekend and a good bit was learned by everybody, so we can put it into practice later on in the year and trail folks up and down routes, should anyone want to be a second!!

Well where shall I start, I’d heard about some of the legendary Scotland Trips ever since becoming mixed up with the club but this one was my first, but I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, Rick’s helpful guide imparted some useful info and plenty of laughs, but what would it be like? Feckin’ mental that’s what, and I’ll definitely be back. The first day was a bit of a bollox, being stuck in Larne for longer than anticipated but I can’t complain too much, I work there after all. The drive up to Glencoe wasn’t too bad apart from getting lost a bit just outside Glasgow! By the way gents, anyone else think those toilets in that KFC in Dumbarton were awfully like that toilet in Trainspotting?? A big stock up on grub, and it was onwards to Glencoe, to locate base camp, a stone barn, with big shelves to sleep on (really!!). Once everyone had piled in and found a spot on the shelves it was pretty much sleepy time, and not that much happened.

Upon waking the next morning we found that the barn, didn’t retain heat all that well and it was cold as a witches’ tit in there! The guides turned up bright and early too, they were Andy “Robo Guide” Porter, David and Steve (?), they planned to take the novice and intermediate groups, and inflict some fun on us!! First though we had the joy of trying on rigid boots, crampons and other pieces of strange gear in Glencoe and Fortwilliam, the drive up there gave us a good taste of the spectacular scenery we would be operating in for the next few days. I can only really speak for the novice groups, as I’m only a beginner and have no idea what the other groups got up to, they can add their shenanigans in the comments section! We novices donned our rigid boots, tightly gripped our axes and trudged up some mountain I can’t remember the name of, well up into the snowline for some “Winter Skills”, I had no real idea what this entailed but was delighted, as most of the others seemed to be, that it involves throwing yourself down the side of a mountain in some, snow! I’ve been up in the Mournes in the middle of winter plenty of times but I’ve never ever plunged into a snowdrift up to my hips before, it was class!! There was something useful to all this fun, we were learning how to move about without sliding, and how to stop without the use of an axe and how to stop ourselves from plummeting down the side of the mountain by using our axes as brakes. To do this properly we of course had to try all the methods of sliding – headfirst on belly, headfirst on back, feet first on belly and back all excellent fun. I do imagine though its not as much fun doing this for real with a cliff below you! Having slid about for a couple of hours we then learned about how to check for avalanche danger by digging hasty pits, and then how to dig snowholes, all useful stuff.  On the way off the hill we encountered the worst weather of the trip, with pelting rain, sleet, snow mix and strong winds didn’t we Kerry? (Splash is all I’m saying) The intermediate group stumbled back to the barn that night muttering dark words about androids and headtorches, I’m not sure what they meant. That night we headed to the Pub, at the reasonable hour of 10 ish only to be turned away as they were closing (?????) despite the reasoned arguments (a small lie!), that wasn’t a happy end for some of our more thirsty members.

The next morning again arrived quickly, too quickly for some, a bit of a lie in for others!! And it was off to Anoch Mor, for a bit more fun. The novices were again split into 2 groups and were given more toys to play with, crampons, woo!! We took the cable car, the lazy person’s preferred method of mountaineering, up to the ski station about halfway up the mountain (600m) I noted that the temp was –3 °C, meaning that 600m further up at the top it would be -9 °C without wind-chill, nice! We headed towards the Nid Ridge, where we donned our crampons and were taught how to walk about wearing them without slicing ourselves to bits, pretty cool.  We made our way slowly up the ridge and taking in the scenery which was amazing, and watching the Tornado ADV’s of No. 229 Operational Conversion Unit, RAF Coningsby (I was an air cadet and had to learn this stuff) zoom past below us! We got to the top and admired the view out towards the Great Glen, and to Ben Nevis, the view in this direction had a maniac climber in it stuck beneath the cornice which we promptly rescued, yes really! We learned a little about walking a compass bearing and pacing before hotfooting it down to the cable car before it closed. We arrived down at the minibuses, expecting to be the last ones in, but where was everyone else?? Still up the mountain that’s where!!! Don’t ever leave anything valuable in a club minibus they are extremely easy to get into without the keys!!! After some standing about in a freezing car park for several hours Steve Hugh, and Rocket turned up and headtorches were spotted descending the mountain we scarpered, leaving the others to their long walk down, obviously they were shunning the lazy mountaineer’s 6favored cable car for the healthy walk…..er why did you all pay for a return trip on it??? That night, the Aurora Borealis came out to play for 20 minutes and was an amazing thing to see (advanced old age and alziemers won’t erase that memory) whilst walking to the pub, where we had crap Guinness and crap service (was it something we said??)

Plans were hatched for the Saturday but had to be hastily rearranged when everybody slept in, some went walking, some went to the indoor icewall, one went walking and had to be rescued and taken to the icewall! Colm, Chris, Rocket, Stu and myself went and played indoors on the icewall. It was Feckin expensive but worth doing…..once! You can make your mistakes in relative safety before heading outdoors to do I properly. Saturday night was a bit mental, and involved a pub with Sir Jimmy “Now Then, Now Then” Saville in it, Human X-ey O-zeys (how do you spell it?), 7 person press ups, the traditional table wrestling, and the cornflakes game!! Apparently there was fun with washing machines later but I had fallen deeply asleep by this stage, fader that I am!

Next day the clear up operation began and we moved out and headed home, remembering to return all the rented gear to where it came from, trying to distract Colm long enough that a pressie could be acquired for him, good job sir!! All in all an excellent trip, a big up to the drivers Christine (who managed to get the LDV completely airborne and gave Jimmy Saville the HORN), Colm, Hugo the Bossman and even Steve (don’t ask, it never happened right?) and to the cooks you know who you are!!

If I’ve forgotten anybody who was there, apologies but it was 2 months ago now, and why didn’t you write this report???

Went up Monday evening to Argentiere hut for a crack at the Swiss Route on the North Face of the Courtes with John Healy from Cork.  Typically enough after 4 weeks of good weather doesn't it start to snow when we reach the foot of the face at 5.30am.  Depressed but alive, descent only option...